“In all that you do, in all that you are, remember to keep the sonder”
“In all that you do, in all that you are, remember to keep the sonder”
“The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.” (via the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows)
Life is complex; we are interwoven into each other's lives akin to the butterfly effect. As a result, there are times we may cause unintentional harm. However, once we’ve been made aware of the harm, it is best practice to repair the harm in a restorative way, such as acknowledgment and atonement along with working on ways to prevent future harm.
There are times when causing harm would be necessary and thus beneficial. Such as rebreaking a leg to let it heal properly. Or compromising the comforts of others to adjust for inequities faced by vulnerable populations. On extreme occasions, the idea of sacrifice may arise in the form of choosing the lesser of two evils or bringing awareness to the greater good of a people and as an extension, the future.
The complexity of harm and its implications may cause too much ambiguity to be understood and practiced in an objective sense. To better navigate the complexity and contribute to the greater good, you may use the creed of Kofarah’s Citadel for building a healthy and ever evolving community.
Loss of or damage to a person's right, property, or physical or mental well-being i.e interfering with an individual’s or group’s right to autonomy and freedom of thought and their own harmless practices. Something that causes someone or something to be hurt, broken, made less valuable or less successful.
Act in such a way that you are nurturing, benevolent and optimistic towards yourself and the world. If you cannot offer these gifts, you can at least offer the gift of distance; as it is best to avoid the chance of causing unintentional, non-beneficial harm.
Be vigilant of those that cannot be nurturing, benevolent and optimistic. Though they may not intend to cause harm, there always remains a chance that you may be collateral damage due to the lack. This is especially true if the gifts are not offered to oneself by one's self.
Work towards holding sonder in reverence with the goal of easing the collective suffering.
To nurture is to see the value in all life and to work to create a safe and healthy environment for all - assisting in helping others to attain their full potential. It is to work towards understanding that which one does not understand and work to ensure the vulnerable are safe.
To be benevolent is to refrain from judgment and to offer unbiased kindness without the possibility of reciprocity. To work to alleviate suffering by avoiding pity but instead form a partnership.
To be optimistic is to see the world for what it is and not what one would like it to be. It is with this knowledge that a person works to improve it for the greater good.
Would you or someone else define your beliefs and/or actions as nurturing or something a nurturing person would do?
Would you or someone else define your beliefs and/or actions as benevolent or something a benevolent person would do?
Would you or someone else define your beliefs and/or actions as optimistic or something an optimistic person would do?
Conversations surrounding DEI are necessary to understand who we are and what we can offer as individuals who serve the community. In order to be as effective as possible, it is important for us to align with definitions and goals.
Diversity
Equity
The policy or practice of accounting for the differences in each individual’s starting point when pursuing a goal of achievement, and working to remove barriers to equal opportunity, as by providing support based on the unique needs of individuals
Inclusion
The culture in which the mix of people can come to work, feel comfortable and confident to be themselves, and work in a way that suits them